The Heart of Forgiveness, Part 2: How do I forgive?

Forgiveness, like love, is both a decision and a commitment. Decision is of the mind, and commitment is of action, and both arise from intention. In achieving a heart of forgiveness, we first need to have the intention to forgive the person who has hurt us. This seems to be only profoundly possible once we have really acknowledged the hurt we have felt.

If we wish to move beyond our intention and closer to a state of forgiveness, it seems that we need to make a firm decision to forgive the person, and then commit to this decision through action. Action may take the form of a direct encounter of letting the person know that you have forgiven them. This is valid even if you don’t feel completely healed from the hurt. For it is just as in love, with the many times that we don’t feel particularly loving towards our loved ones but we continue to act lovingly by our words and actions because of our commitment to love them. We do not always have feelings of love, or forgiveness, but we courageously continue to commit to loving and forgiving actions.

Our forgiveness actions may be less direct than a verbal encounter about forgiving the person: they may be the re-commencing or continuing of loving/friendly conversations, perhaps just a ‘hi’ to start with, and progressing further from there. As we begin to act with love and friendliness, more love and friendliness comes into our focus and our being, and we begin to feel more love and more loving. Sometimes our actions of forgiveness may simply be conscious thoughts of forgiveness towards the person. Simple though this may seem, it still takes a great deal of courage to have these thoughts towards someone who has hurt you, but the daring is worth it! Whatever forgiveness actions make sense for the situation, they all contribute to the overall state of forgiveness and an emerging feeling of greater love and healing.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can assist greatly in achieving a state of forgiveness. Please note that the next round of workshops in Darwin are coming up soon- Nov 12, Dec 3 & 4.  Check out my blog for more information.